I received my first Spanking from my father at the age of 4 or 5 years (Not sure), when I use bottle of milk (Feeder). I was making noise in night when he lost his temper. He picked his hard sole shoe and gave me three hardest smacks on my young bottoms (Not nude). I could not forget that bad pain. I wept and cry with a sharp loud sound. I think if I received one more, I could not bear it and would be senseless. My mom save me at that time and took me to bed and give me milk bottle (Feeder). But pain was so high that it was unbearable for me as well as I could not drink milk. My mom lay down me on the bed face down and back up. Then she pulled down my trouser and checked the lash/marks. I felt a strange sensation of shame in my body. After few minutes she did again this and I feel shy again. At morning she told Father that a lash mark of shoe sole has appeared on my bottoms. Papa took me to close him and caressed my head. But I was angry and don't want to be close to him, but could not oppose.Dear Mr. Riak,
One more spanking I remembered when I threw a shoe/slipper in fruits basket when he clean fruits with water. After that I ran there and went to bed room where mom had already presented but I could not tell her anything to save me (As I was ashamed). Sudden Father came there with a big sole shoe and gave me three hardest whacks on butts which was really unbearable for me. Mom save me again.
Once more hard Spanking I remembered when I throw sand in my sister's eyes by mistake while we play outside. She started weeping. Papa had view from balcony. I smiled because I was ashamed (but afraid). He came down, gave me one shoe in front of public (This was not so hard) but I start weeping. He took me to the home. In house he gave me three more hardest shoes on my bottoms in front of my Mom, Sister and Elder brother. Now I cry and weeping with pain and loud sound. I want to rubbing and clutching my butts but could not do this due to shame as I have beaten in front of Family. Mom save me and rubbed my butts and put her hands on my butts and held them (Not nude). I feel some satisfaction/heat. After that I went to bathroom and looked my butts in mirror. A big sensation has aroused in me. I was amazed that butts were still so red and sole mark also presented. Now perhaps, I had became a Spankophile/Spanko/Masochist. But I don't know what is sex at that time as I was a child.
After that whenever I recall my spanking, a strange pleasure aroused in my body. When see any spanking scene in movie, real life , novel or hear about it, same desire arose in my body. Whenever I disobey my mother and when she says me with a laugh, "don't you remember big shoes of your father which administered on your bottoms?" Oh…..a big and strange pleasure/shame/shy aroused in body which is not describe in words. I have not write more about home spanking and school punishment due to lack of time and as I don't want to make too long this letter.
Self-spanking: One time papa was not at home. I took his big shoe and went to bathroom. I checked it on my own bottoms, Oh! A pleasure has aroused as I was trembling with joy. I smacked more shoes on bottoms with more force. Oh, that is nearly same as father had beaten me. My eyes were full of tears. I received more with full force as I could. The loud sound of shoes made me crazy/mad but then it is un-bearable for me to continue. Then I looked the bottoms in mirror. They were bright red and sore as father beaten me. In this way I became self-spanker till yet.
Finally I am sad now because I cannot tell this to any person and also worry about my after-marriage problems as I cannot find any female of this nature in Pakistan. But search is continue.
05 January, 2007.
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