Select responses to thread: Can a stepdad spank my daughter?, 2011 (original thread located here)

not a rocket scientist (Bowling Green, KY), Jan 21, 2011:

Keeps Me Entertained wrote:

No!!! You should be angry...that duty,if you choose to spank, belongs to the biological Mother and Father alone. A Stepfather should not spank unless he has been the ONLY paternal figure in that child's life. Your ex needs to step up to the plate and discipline instead of laying that responsibility on a person your child will come to hate. If she is too lazy or weak to do that then the responsibility is all yours. A Step-parent is rarely effective when both biological parents are alive, present and caring.

This is crap. Is the step-FATHER a father or NOT. You can't expect him to be a father figure and the head of the home and a provider to her and have no authority. It's all or nothing in my opinion. You will only be teaching the child dis-respect for her step father. If the child deserved a spanking, as was already admitted, then who cares who gave it. This is just part of it when you choose to get divorced and move on and the mother moves on too. Now there are no longer just 2 parents. The step-father will never take the place of the bio father. But he does need a place of his own. One of respect and honor, unless there is an abusive situation, that would be different.

no way (Elizabethtown, KY), Jan 22, 2011:

The son of a bitch has no business pulling the childs pants down and putting his hands on her bare bottom. he may like it and choose to find reasons to pull her pants down, not just to spank her. Dad, talk to a lawyer, that is if you really are worried about her welfare. You may even call child services if necessary.

wow (Bowling Green, KY), Jan 23, 2011:
Jesus you people are world class stupid...the guy is not automatically a molester for having the pants taken down, especially at the insistence of the childs mother as was stated, which obviously means he didnt want to do it. The mother approved of the spanking, and sounds as if she oversaw it. Therefore, its fine for the stepfather to do it. If he was repeatedly doing it with no one else there, or finding reasons..etc...there would be cause for concern. It sounds as if the mother WANTS him to establish himself as an authority figure now, before the child is older and throws out the, YOUR NOT MY DADDY line. As for the original father, if you do not live in the house, do not have custody, and cannot prove that spanking the child is abuse or anything illegal, there is nothing you can do about it EXCEPT request to the wife and man directly that she only recieve spankings from the mother, that you are not comfortable with him doing it.

Angry Dad (Hartford, KY), Jan 24, 2011:
I would just like to point out that I do not consider my ex or her husband a child molester. As I have already stated I talked to CPS and while they strongly discourage pulling down the panties to spank on a bare bottom, there is nothing illegal about it.

i just dont understand (United States), Feb 12, 2011 [edited for spelling and grammar]:

Angry Dad wrote:

This was a major issue between my ex and I when were together. She always insisted that the pants and underwear should be pulled down for spankings. I resisted because I was never spanked like [that] but my ex always had her pants pulled down for a spanking (even by her father). I usually would spank my son (whose is 13 now and does not get spanked anymore) and daughter over their underwear but my wife always pulled them down as well.

I dont agree an 8 year old girl should be told its okay to be bare bottom, even for a spanking by mom or dad. It's embarrassing. My parents did me bare bottom and said it was OK. My uncle one day tried to spank me when I was nine. So I pulled my pants and panties down for him 'cause I thought it was OK. Needless to say, after a few bare bottom spankings from my uncle it turned into bare bottom abuse. After I told my parents, it never happened again, but if I didn't think it was okay to pull my panties down for spanking, it wouldn't have hapened. I don't blame my parents, just my uncle. You need to talk to your ex and her husband, as well share as my story, please. I don't want this to be your child, too. There are too many pervs out there. Plus her husband as a grown man (nor a woman) should not be comfortable for any reason to touch a child's bare bottom. I'm a mom, too, and don't touch my daughter's bottom unless needed to do so. I refuse to let anyone change my daughter's diapers except me. I'm the only one to change her and give her a bath. I won't even let my husband or my mom because of what happened to me. I refuse to have her overnight anywhere or with a babysitter. I work nights while my husband works days to prevent anyone watching her 'til my daughter is old enough to tell us what's going on. She's only three, though.

Newsbeat (Bellwood, IL), Mar 18, 2012:
Step parents have no ethical right to punish a step child. Other posters keep saying the same things over and over again. This is really a case where nobody really knows how to disipline the child. You and the mother need to learn some new skills to discipline your daughter without her being spanked. The best way to get this training is go to a counselor of social work and ask them to teach you new and effective skills. And ole step daddy should keep his nose out of it. And spanking is traumatizing enough but on a bare bottom is unacceptable. Daddy, do you realize a grown man has had his hands on your daughter's bare buns? Think about that daddy. With my being a girl I can tell you little girls don't like men touching their bare bottoms. Also, his swatting her bare bottom could possible be a turn on to him that might escalate into sexual intercourse later on.


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